IT'S A .......

 

 

  BOY!!!!!

It's amazing the thoughts that go through a mother's mind.  I'm sure many moms have the same feelings and thoughts that I do.  And although I'm a "talker," many of these thoughts to come have never been shared.  Not even with Jason.  On Oct. 16th we had our ultrasound.  This was to be my 3rd and final time having an ultrasound and each time I go in nervous.  Nervous because, although I'm not a worrier by nature, I worry about my babies.  I worry the whole time I'm pregnant.  I worry that I am eating right, that I am drinking enough water, did I feel the baby kick enough today, am I being healthy, will my child be healthy, will my baby be anything less than perfect.  Although I know the odds are in my favor, it's still something I worry about until I am holding that little being in my arms.  And then a whole different worry starts.  

The ultrasound helps, but it doesn't take the worry away.  This time the worry continues for a few more weeks when I will have another ultrasound.  During my ultrasound the baby wasn't be very cooperative and they would like to get better pictures of the heart.  Although, my doctor assured me that everything is fine and I keep telling myself, "if it was serious, they would want you to come back sooner!" the worry still invades me thoughts.  Next month when I return, I know I will be reassured that our little baby is healthy and growing, but until then, my mind might play tricks on me.  Perhaps, these tricks come about because I see so many people that suffer, have dealt with sadness, loss and life changing events.  I myself, have not.  I question...."how can I be so blessed?" "Why not me?"  Again, I know everything will be fine and I find comfort in this....So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you;  I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.  Isaiah 41:10

The best part of that day, was our surprise!  We found out we are having a boy!  We are so excited, although, we really didn't care one way or another.  During our ultrasound we asked the technician to write it down and we did not look at the screen while she found out.  On our way home from Fargo, we dropped off the gender information, the box to hold the balloons and pink and blue balloons at my friend, Kara's.  She checked the information, filled the balloons and filled the box.  She came to our house where we were ready to find out.  It was so fun to open up the box and see that our little baby is a boy.  With Hayden and Clara it was a surprise and I LOVED not knowing, but this was equally as fun.  I am so anxious to meet him to see who he looks like to examine every inch of him and to hold him in my arms.  As this will be our last baby, I am trying to savior every moment, especially the kicks.  At almost 23 weeks we don't have much more time before he makes his arrival.  We will be so excited to share with the world our little boy!